The First Day part 1

(March 2010)

I heard the doorbell ring and I looked at my clock it was 3am. Normally when I am woken up in the middle of the night by my phone or the door I am freaked out and wondering who is dead but that night I wasn't concerned at all I thought it must be my sister.  I peeped out my peephole and to my surprise two police officers were standing at my door I thought for sure they had the wrong door so I was surprised when they asked for me.  I identified myself and they they told me why they had come. "Kevin has been in a bad accident" they told me. I couldn't figure out who this Kevin person was and why they were telling me until I realized my fiance's name is Kevin. Now before you think I am an idiot Michael's name is Kevin Michael but he always goes by Michael or Mike so it was confusing at first to hear him called by his first name.  Once I realized who they were talking about I had seen enough movies to know what was coming next, they were going to tell me he was dead.  They kept talking about the accident how bad it was and other stuff I really don't remember because I was just waiting to hear if he was dead or alive FINALLY they told me he was alive and life flighted to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center.  They told me how to get there and they also gave me Lauri's (Mike's mom) phone number.
After they left I was in shock, the first thing I did was pray for Mike then I jumped in my car and left.  On the way I called my parents to let them know what had just happened and to pray for Mike.  I called Mike's mom to let her know that I was on my way to the hospital and I would be in touch.  The rest of the drive I was alone with my thoughts and I had an overwhelming feeling of peace and that things were going to be ok. 

Once I got to the ER I asked where Michael was, they didn't know who he was but they must of  had a sneaking suspicion he was the guy who came in on the helicopter because they asked me how he had arrived at the hospital. At that point I didn't know I couldn't recall anything the police had told me. Finally the word motorcycle accident came out and they knew who I was looking for.  They escorted me to where he was, I tried to prepare myself for what I was about to see but there was no amount of preparation that could have helped.  When I saw Michael for the first time it was shocking to say the least, he was not only banged up but he had not been cleaned up so there was a lot of blood.  It is at times like these that you have to make a mental choice, I could freak out or I could just deal with it and be there for Mike.  I chose the later so I took a deep breath and walked up to him I went to the less bloody side, bent down and told him I was there and that he was going to be ok.

I was able to spend 10 mins with him while they finished bandaging his leg then he was taken up to the ICU.  Luckily his aunt Julie and uncle Grant had gotten the news earlier and had made it to the hospital before me.  Grant was able to give Michael a priesthood blessing before I had arrived.  Julie, Grant, and I followed them up to the ICU but had to wait in the waiting room while they got him situated and cleaned up.  I was pacing the floors it seemed like an eternity but finally they let us in to see him.  He looked SO much better than he did before it made me happy we were able to be with him for 15 mins before they kicked us out for shift change.  This was so frustrating to me I had only been able to see Michael for brief periods of time and most of that time was spent with 10 different people trying to update me on what was going on.  Now I had to wait for two hours before I could see him again I couldn't believe it poor Mike I didn't want him to be alone.

Julie and Grant had responsibilities at home so they had to leave so I sat in an empty waiting room alone again with my thoughts waiting until I could finally see Mike.  Once again I felt a tremendous amount of peace the Lord was aware of us and was comforting me and I'm sure Mike. I had been informed about all of his injuries and about the cat scan they did to see why he was still unconscious that look pretty good.  They wanted to send him to surgery to stabilize his leg sometime that morning.  I new this was going to be a rough day(I had no idea)  and I didn't want to face everything alone so I called my sister Katie to see if she could skip work and come be with me.  Fortunately her work let her off and she was on her way. Katie arrived and soon we were finally let into the ICU I rushed to Michael's room excited to finally be with him I rushed in only to discover an empty room Michael was gone.............

The Goatee Dilemma

(Aug 2010)
For many years Michael has been sporting a goatee for Michael a goatee wasn't just facial hair, it was a way of life.  You can't think of Michael without thinking "goatee" but if you look at any recent photos he's clean shaven.  So what happened? Is this what happens when your fiance has complete control over your shaving habits? Can't a man have the right to choose his facial hair style? Who would shave Mike's identity? The answers are not that simple.

After "The Accident" Michael continued to sport a goatee (as you can see from the accident picture).  This seemed right because of the attachment he had to it.  Over time things started to get more complicated; his goatee continued to grow and it wasn't easy to keep it clean and trimmed. I didn't realize how much work they are.  We tried our best but soon his goatee had a life of it's own it migrated to the right and was completely overgrown and he developed a bad rash from lack of proper care and love.  During this time his hair got hard to control as well.  Below is a picture for demonstration purposes only.

The dilemma began should we shave Michael's pride and joy or try to increase our goatee skills?  Finally the day came we couldn't postpone our decision any longer something had to be done.  It wasn't easy and we knew the inevitable decision would cause great sadness for the man I love.  Lauri (Mike's mom) and I took his goatee out for one final walk to say goodbye.

Then we went back to the room and pulled out the clippers Lauri looked at me with a "well go ahead" look I shook my head and said "No I can't you do it." we kept going back and forth it was like deciding who was going to shoot Old Yeller.  Finally Lauri "The Brave" grabbed the clippers and made an unrepairable pass over the goatee.  It got a lot easier after that and I even chipped in.  Just as we completed the degoating his aunt Debbie showed up with a Flowbee (spl?) to cut his hair. For those of you not familiar with a Flowbee it's clippers that you hookup to a vacuum cleaner so that as you cut it sucks up the hair (watch 'Wayne's World' if you need a demo).  Soon Michael had no goatee and very short hair.  As predicted he was very sad.

I personally think he looks way better without the unruly goatee and as time went on he adjusted to his new look and enjoyed a rash free face.  So now you know it was Lauri who did it. (Sorry Babe)

Today

(May 20 2012)

Well I guess we better talk about how Michael is doing now.  Today Michael is doing great! Great is a subjective term but if you take into account where he has been, what he has been through, and his prognosis (I will discus this in a later post) he is doing great. 

Communication and social skills: 
Michael can't talk (yet) but he can definitely communicate our communication mainly consists of eye blinks, thumbs up or down, smiles, scowls or angry looks, grunts, and my favorite sarcastic smile/look when he thinks I'm being stupid you would be surprised how often he gives me this look (or maybe you wouldn't).  I often think that Mikes communication skills aren't much different then most men so I don't know how much we are really lacking here. 

He still has great social skills everyone who comes in contact with him can't help but to like him.  I keep a wary eye on any cute CNA or visitor because they can't help but fall under his trance.  He loves visiting with people especially kids he will often give them a smile and listens intently to what they have to say.  He also likes shooting his close friends and brother with his Nerf gun (Disclaimer: I may be responsible for giving Mike the gun but I am not responsible for where he aims it).

Moving or not moving:
Michael is still bed bound he does get up into his wheelchair several times a week.  He has a therapist working with him on his mobility and he also has a speech therapist who mainly works on teaching him to eat and communicate.  I can't believe that Mike has to be coaxed into eating. He has great control over his left hand and arm and uses it to push you away when you are annoying him, play bad mitten with a balloon (his reflexes are a little slow), punch your hand or a balloon, use a pointer to point, scratch my back with a back scratcher, fly a paper airplane (it took a lot of work but he did it), and play the Wee I got him for Christmas (to name but a few).  He can move his legs and other arm but he is lacking skill but he is getting better and better at it. 

I like to play games with Michael his favorite is Uno probably because he almost always wins.  I make him hold his cards and he has to decide which ones to play. I will give him choices and he will tell me yes or no (either eye blinks or thumbs up-down).  We have also played Tic-Tac-Toe, I will use a white board and Mike uses his stick to point where he would like to go I have tied him but I have not bet him (yet).  My favorite game to play with Mike is either thumb wrestle (I have little thumb wrestling costumes they are so cute), or who can grab the stick first.  I will set his plastic pointer stick on his lap then I will raise my hand above my head and say go who ever grabs the stick wins.  Mike has the advantage because his hand is closer but I have an advantage because I don't have head trauma.

Mood and spirits:
Michael is in great spirits he sometimes gets in a  grumpy mood but they don't last long and I don't blame him.  In general he is a very happy guy who is able to lift my spirits and brings joy to those around him. I am impressed with his peace and patients as he goes through this trying ordeal. 

I wanted this post to be as up to date as possible so the picture I am including was taken today right after Mikes church.

The End and the Beginning

(March 2010)
I guess the first thing to write about is what is now referred to as "The Accident" It happened March 2nd around 12:15 am.  Mike and I had just spent a wonderful evening together, we both had work to catch up on so we sat together on the couch with our laptops and did work (like the nerds we are).  We ended the evening with a deep discussion about our future and if we thought we were ready to get married and face hard things that would surely come (if we only new).  When saying goodbye Michael was super sweet he would take me in his big arms and telling me how much he loved me and was actually getting emotional as he talked he did this a few times.  He often told me that he loved me but this was so intense he really wanted me to know.  I was thinking how sweet but we are just saying good night and I would see him the next day.

Michael left my house on his motorcycle and headed home (20 min drive) down State Street.  About 5 mins into the drive he came to a stop light that was green a proceeded through it.  As he was going through the intersection an SUV going the opposite way took a left hand turn cutting right in front of his motorcycle.  He laid down the bike like a good biker for more protection, I'm not sure what happened next but when all was said and done Mike was stuck under the SUV and totally unconscious.  It took paramedics a long time to get him out from under the SUV then he was life flighted to Utah Valley Medical Center.  The details of the accident are a little fuzzy for me I just know the basics and to be honest I don't really care to know more.  I do know that the paramedics worked hard to save him and they even stopped in to check on him and tell his mom that if one of the paramedics on the scene hadn't been working that day with her special skills they doubt Michael would have survived to make it to the hospital.

Michael broke his femur in 3 places, had 5 broken ribs, part of his face was crushed, horrible horrible road rash everywhere (even his toes, his shoes got ripped off during the accident) and worst of all severe head trauma.  His celphone, calculator watch, beenie, and laptop (besides a cracked screen) escaped without harm but his house key was bent at a 90 deg angle.

These pictures were taken 3 days apart I prefer the first one :)

A couple of side notes on this terrible accident:

The SUV driver was a 19 year old girl who didn't see Mike coming because she was distracted by TEXTING.  For any of you who are still silly enough to text while your driving I beg you to stop.  I hate seeing people do it and when I'm driving with someone who is, it hurts my feelings that they would do that knowing what I have been through. 

Michael was not wearing a helmet when he was in this accident he felt that he was a good enough rider that he would not get in an accident and if he was he could use his biking knowledge to escape serious harm.  But no matter how good you are you can't predict the stupidity of others so just wear a helmet.

That is the story of the accident plus a couple of PSAs you are welcome.

So I’ve decided to start a blog which is very uncharacteristic for me, don’t get me wrong I like blogs I like reading what people are up to and getting a sneak peek into their lives.  I guess I’m just not a very sharing person (I’m talking about stories not toys here). With that said I feel it’s good to get out of your comfort zone and so here we are….

The things you need to know before reading this blog:

1.       I think I’m funny; I don’t have any evidence that this is true but I don’t have evidence that it isn’t true either.  This will explain a lot as you read.

2.       I am engaged to a great guy named Michael aka Babe, Boo, or Cutie pie tutee pie.

3.       My fiancé  has been in  some sort of hospital for 2+ years

4.       My posts will be about things from the past, present, and maybe the future.  They will be in no particular order so I will put a date (or near date) at the tops so you will know.