Deja vu all over again

July 2013

When if comes to news I usually like to get the bad news first so I'm going to talk about the bad things that have been going on lately, then if you're lucky my next post will be a little more uplifting.  Michael has been in the ICU for the past 2 weeks.  If you have read my earlier post you know how much I HATE the hospital, needless to say it's been a long hard stay.

A couple of weeks a go Michael had a seizure which happens now and then because of his injuries but this time it wouldn't stop.  They has to call the paramedics and he was sent to the ER.  They did get it to stop but by the time they did he has aspirated (breathed in foreign particles) which is very bad for you.  He was having a tough time breathing and by the time I got there he was on a machine that was trying to push air into his lungs.  He did not look well but there was a brief moment when he came to and looked at me with questioning scared eyes.  I told him where he was and why he was there and he drifted back into unawareness.

Given my fear of hospitals and Mike it takes me a lot of courage to go walking into the ER and ask for him but I love Mike more than I fear hospitals so I have been able to concur some of this fear.  Up until this point I have never had to face one of  my ultimate fear which is Mike going back to the ICU.  You can't imagine my terror when they told me Mike was going to be admitted into the ICU.  I wish that my fear was more for Mike than myself but I can't say that it was at that point.  After a few tears and a deep breaths I was prepared to put my big girl pants on and meet my ultimate fear head on.  By this time my concern for Mike outweighed my fear for myself so it seemed doable. We spent the day watching the monitors and Mike wasn't improving, he was going down hill.  Then that evening I had to face an even scarier fear than the ICU which is Mike having to be intubated again (put a tube down you throat so you can breath).  Once intubated Michael's stats improved and he stabilized.  Looking at Michael intubated and hooked up to all those monitors brought back so many memories. I couldn't believe we were back in the ICU while Mike fought for his life.

Needless to say it was a hard couple of weeks.  After nine days they were able to extubate him, he didn't do as well as we all thought he would without the tub.  Probably due to swelling caused by the tub in his throat for nine days but he made steady improvements. Lauri was on summer break so she was able to come and stay for a week and a half (what a great mom).  Not a very fun vacation if you ask me but it was nice to have someone with him while I was a work.  

Being in the hospital was rough for all of us and no one like to see there loved one struggling.  It's especially hard because the people caring for Mike treated him like a second class citizen because he has head trauma.  It's hard to watch people treat someone you love so much like he has no value or worth.  Not everyone is like that but there is enough to make it the overall feeling.  I won't go into specifics as to avoid becoming hurt and angry again but it does make me wonder how I treat other people.  Do I ever dismiss someone because I don't see their worth?  It's a hard question to ask yourself but knowing how it feels to be on the other side makes me want to always answer this question with a NO.  

Michael is doing better everyday he is still not 100% yet but I think he will get there soon.  He is now out of the "real" hospital and back at the care center.  He still needs a little oxygen and is being monitored more closely for the next little while. He has this funny oxygen mask that looks like a white mustache, it has inspired Lauri and I to have Mike grow a real mustache.  It's cool because it's a secret mustache, when he has his oxygen on you can't see it but take it off and ta-da mustache Mike.  What do you think?