Mike and Lisa, A Love Story

February is the month of love for Michael and I.  Not just because of Valentines Day but we got engaged February 7th 2010, and February is the month that we were able to bask in the ignorant bliss of love and engagement before our lives were torn apart. I wish February had more days than 28 so we could have lived in our ignorance a little longer.  To commemorate this month of love I thought I would share our love story.

We met online, after seeing that I liked the movie "Vanilla Ice Cool as Ice" on my profile Mike sent me a message about how he just went to a Vanilla Ice concert.  We wrote a few messages back and forth, it wasn't love a first write but he seemed like a good guy so I was interested in getting to know him.  After basically forcing him to ask me out and waiting a couple of weeks (it wasn't love at first write for him either), we finally went on our first date. After our first date I realized I had no interest in Mike, he wasn't really my type and I didn't feel any sparks.  Near the end of the date I was ready for it to be over but I had an experience that showed me I should at least give him a chance so I did.  Our second date went much better and by the end of it I realized I did like this goofy, nerdy, manly man. 

It took us two months of almost constant dating to realize we should become boyfriend and girlfriend.  It only took us four more months to realize we should become engaged.  When we first started dating we both agreed that couples should date for a year before deciding if they should make things more serious. But what you think should happen and what should really happen aren't always the same thing.....

At five months we both realized that we did love each other and that our relationship was definitely headed towards marriage but we both weren't ready for the next step. We were comfortable in our dating and wanted to really get to know each other before moving to the next step.  Then the antsiness set in, things just weren't going right something seemed really off (not in our relationship but with things around us).  After a particularly frustrating event of Mike not being able to fix his car yet again because of mysterious circumstances, I told him that something was off and that he needed to figure out what he needed to do to fix it.  I realized this wasn't just a Mike problem so I told him I would pray too and hopefully we could figure out what was going on.  To my surprise during my prayer I had the distinct impression that I "should not doddle in getting engaged" I found myself saying I wasn't ready to be engage and I was told "then get ready".  How a prayer about a frustrating car problem turned into me not waiting to get engage I'm not sure.  Maybe the Lord had to use a back door problem so he could sneak up on me without scaring me away.  I was scared because I wasn't ready to make the next step but I knew what the Lord had told me and I knew I had to go on faith.

I feel that popping the question is definitely the boys responsibility (call me old fashioned) so I didn't know how I was supposed to tell the boy I was dating that we should not doddle in getting engaged.  I was busy that weekend and would only see him for a short time so I decided I didn't need to figure that out just yet, I would wait until we would have more time together to figure out how to bring this up.  Just as I arrived for my short visit with Mike I realized my rationalization to wait to tell him was not valid and that I needed to talk to him about my feelings as I prayed.  If you can't talk about personal things with the man you are thinking of marrying someday you probably shouldn't marry him.  I got up my courage and told him my experience he looked at me funny and said "I know I have felt that for awhile I was just waiting for you."  I realized that I had let fear close me off from what the Lord was trying to tell me and that lucky for me he didn't give up on me, just like Mike he patiently waited for me to finally hear.

Following my promptings did not take my fears away or make me instantly ready to get engaged but I knew that it was important not to wait any longer so we moved forward with our plans.  Mike didn't have money for a ring yet so he decided to make me one in the mean time.  With ring in hand we made a very quick trip to Idaho so that Mike could ask my dad for his blessing.  Mikes plan was for us to go to Idaho to talk to my dad then the next day he was going to take me snowshoeing and pop the question.  Mike informed me of his whole plan, he was so excited he couldn't keep it to himself.  I made fun of him for telling me how and when we were going to get engaged but that is just how Mike rolls.  After talking to my dad, we headed back to Utah. On our way out of town Mike asked if we could stop at the Rexburg Temple so that he could get some of his nervous energy out before heading home.  The request didn't seem that strange because we had stopped off at the temple last time we were headed out of town.  Once there despite my protests we got out of the car on a frigid Idaho evening and walked around the temple.  I did have a thought that maybe Mike had changed his mind and was going to ask me right then and there to marry him.  I dismissed this because Mike did not vary from his plans once he made them so to my surprise he did vary from his original plan and stopped, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him.  I said yes and he slipped the home made ring on my finger and just like that we were engaged.  Luckily my family talked us into coming back to the house so they could see the ring so we were able to get pictures of that night.

One month later Mike was in his accident and everything changed for us.  I can never describe or explain what it was like to have this happen, it is not an easy thing.  There are so many scenarios and questions running through your head, you are thrust into making decisions that are way above your pay grade. Luckily I was not alone Mikes family and I joined in a team effort of care and decision making and with the help of the Lord we were able to decide what needed to happen and what we should be doing.  I am so thankful that Mike and I listened to the Lord and got engaged before this happened. If we were not engaged I would have been an outsider through all of this and it would have definitely altered some of our decisions.

Mike and my love story did not end with the accident that is where it truly began.  We were in the beginning stages of love when we decided to get married, we were no more in love than your average engaged couple. We did not possess the kind of love it required to get us through all that we have been through but lucky for us, love grows if you let it.  At times the love I have for Mike floods over me like a mighty title wave at others it's more like a decision I make "I choose to love Mike". But through time our love has been forged into a beautiful seemingly unbreakable bond.  Our love has been fortified through the deepest despairs, through murky black trials, through endless patients, through hope, through faith, through laughter, through tears, through understanding, through disappointments, through triumphs, through acceptance, through service, through dance parties, through hard work, through opposition, through support, and through the Lord.

Some people feel that I am wasting my life on Mike that I need to move on and leave him behind.  All I can say is, how is walking beside the man you love more than anything through the darkest, hardest trial of his life wasting your life? What is life for but to love and be loved. And what is love if it is not sacrificing for the other person. I know for some the decisions I have made would not be right but for Michael and I we are on the path we need to be on.  I would love it if our path were a different one but it is not so we will make the most of it together.

To Mikes friends and family I want you to know that Mike is loved more deeply than you can imagine.  He does not walk alone through this trial.  He may have lost a lot of things but he has not lost me, his love.

To my friends and family I want you to know that I am loved more deeply than you can imagine.  I do not walk alone through this trial.  I may not have the perfect life but I have my love Michael.

I love Michael Benson!