Sunday, March 3, 2013

Three Years

(March 2013)

Today is an anniversary and not the kind you want to think about or celebrate.  Three years ago my life change forever when Michael was in his motorcycle accident.  Thinking back to that day floods me with emotions and horrible memories but with time those emotions and memories are dulled more and more.  It's amazing what a person can endure and overcome. If I had my choice I would go back to that day and change what happened but I can't so I try to appreciate what going through this has done for me and for Mike.

One of the major blessing of all of this has been the Love that Michael and I have developed for one another.  I cannot begin to express how much I love that guy and I know he loves me too (especially after Valentine's Day).  What a gift to be able to love and to be loved so much.

Another blessing is gratitude, in life we don't know that we should be grateful for something until we don't have it anymore then we realize what a gift so many things are.  I guess it's called taking things for granted.  I'm not saying I don't take many of my blessings for granted but my eyes have been opened to how many things there are to be grateful for.  I appreciate simple things so much more than I did before and it's amazing how much joy simple things can bring you.

Some other blessing I have received through all of this are: Eternal perspective, tragedies force you to look at the bigger picture of what this life is all about. Family bonds, I have seen first hand how supported and loved I am by my family both immediate and extended, also I have gained the support and love of Michael's family as well and I love them all. Empathy, there is a difference between feeling bad for someone and having empathy for them, without our own tragedies it is hard to truly feel empathy for others tragedies.  Strong testimony of Jesus Christ and his gospel, I have always had a testimony but it has grown immensely as I not only turn to the Lord but also trust in him. You cannot put a price on having a relationship with the Lord.  These are not the only blessings I have received but they are all I will mention at this time.

Today as I laid next to Mike in the hospital I looked over at this cute picture of when Michael and I were dating I couldn't believe how young and full of life we looked.  Then I turned and looked at my drooling fiance with his slightly crazy eye and his crooked smile, I couldn't see me but I'm sure I didn't look as sassy as I did in the picture.  I realized how different we were from that couple in the picture not just physically but spiritually as well.  This journey has not been easy and I don't want to pretend that I have not been devastated at times.  It's just that with all the bad, there has been good. We may be different than we were 3 years ago but most of the differences are good ones.